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by aseriesofessays



Series: crush [2]
Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: M/M, the bitch is sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-31
Updated: 2019-07-31
Packaged: 2020-07-27 21:20:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 480
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20052718
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aseriesofessays/pseuds/aseriesofessays
Summary: he used to think nothing could be too sweet, actually, used to get coffee with so much sugar and cream that the bitter taste was hardly an afterthought, but he hasn’t been to a coffee shop in months and the most interesting thing he eats now are bags of crisps from the vending machine, so. honey makes him gag, when he adds it to his tea, and he drinks it bitter and bitterly.





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he scratches the poetry out in between everything else- there’s a lot of in between, really, so he can’t complain. he feels like his whole world has shrunk down to the in between, the office hours, feeling sort of empty and heavy and ready to go home, except. well. martin doesn’t actually have a home, really, just his lonely flat, and going through the streets and having to hear people chattering and laughing without him is-

he sleeps on a couch in his office, is the point. when he sleeps. supposes vaguely that this was how jon felt during his paranoia episodes, except that he can’t actually ask because firstly jon’s in a coma and secondly martin’s not allowed to talk to people anymore. he tries not to dwell on it and of course his thoughts stick like congealing honey for hours, heavy and syrupy and too sweet.

(he used to think nothing could be too sweet, actually, used to get coffee with so much sugar and cream that the bitter taste was hardly an afterthought, but he hasn’t been to a coffee shop in months and the most interesting thing he eats now are bags of crisps from the vending machine, so. honey makes him gag, when he adds it to his tea, and he drinks it bitter and bitterly.) (does peter have to steal his fucking tastebuds too?) (it’s a sacrifice, he tells himself, and besides, he has other things to worry about.)

he used to, like, listen to music. sometimes. he’d never gotten around to buying it, of course, and he doesn’t pay for a subscription service, so he often ended up listening to a lot of shit he didn’t necessarily know and a lot of ads. annoying, yeah, but a comforting background chatter while he read, or did one of his rare shitty drawings, or researched. he doesn’t like silence, he doesn’t like the taste of it on his tongue, and when he realizes that he’s been quiet quiet quiet for three weeks-

because he doesn’t talk to anyone, yeah, he just types, and sleeps in the office, and avoids people, and peter’s been away, and christ. he goes down to the archive, heart pounding at the sheer size of the institute outside of that tiny, cramped room, with it’s tiny, cramped en-suite, and he stands outside jon’s door and tries to knock and doesn’t. there’s no one down here- well, that’s not strictly true, because there’s a pink door that shouldn’t be there. he thinks vaguely of going in, huffs out a breath colored a little hysterically amused at the thought of another entity after him (he’s racking them up like fucking points, huh? the eye, the web, the lonely, why not the distortion too?), reaches for the handle.

it’s locked.

he goes back up to his lonely office and wishes he had music playing.

**Author's Note:**

> i actually think i might have . a point to this ? accidentally? not that it Matters just i feel like if i get around to this it might have . a plot lskjflksjdf


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